I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
