That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Randomize
