I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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