did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
