Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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