you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
