I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
nutella sex= disaster
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
