so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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