And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
