Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
