the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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