Buhtt sex?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
