Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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