five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
there is glitter all over my balls
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
