I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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