My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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