I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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