Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
