normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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