I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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