Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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