Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
