Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
