omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
