ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
