Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
