I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
