fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
