u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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