Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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