Don't make out with my wife yet
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
