So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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