careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
