apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Terrible idea I love it
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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