Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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