I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
