Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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