Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
How external is "for external use only"?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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