Is it normal to miss your booty call?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
