hell yes lets make some ravioli
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
