I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
