he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
