White coat. Heels.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
