She announced her abortion via fbk
Even the bartender felt bad for me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
