is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
