I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
