Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Pants are for mortals
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
