I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
