Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
