do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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