sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
